I can’t believe it, but summer is on our doorstep (I know this because my daughter and my daughter-in-law, who are both teachers, just went on summer break).  Summer is one of my favorite seasons, longer days, more sun, and more oama and papio (if I ever have time to go fishing ;).  Where does the time go?  Is it just me, or does it seem as if time goes faster and faster, the older one gets – or do we just appreciate it more?  As an AJA, I know I’m approaching one of the honored (or dreaded) milestones in a “mature” Japanese man’s life, celebrating one’s 60th year – the Kanreki.  It was kind of a neat thing, nearly twenty years ago, celebrating my Yakudoshi (“My, you look so young for 41 years!”) – I remember brushing off such remarks and compliments, still feeling (and kind of looking) like I was in my twenties, haha.  But the Kanreki is different; the Kanreki feels so….old.  I remember my Dad’s and my father-in-law’s Kanreki’s – I was in charge of the program and “entertainment” for both parties.  At my father-in-law’s party, his eldest brother (passed away a couple of years ago at 95) gave the toast.  He described the Kanreki as entering one’s “Second Childhood”.  He said it was gradually letting go of so many central activities that we associate with adulthood; in particular – retiring from one’s livelihood and releasing one’s grown children to create their own families and destinies.  For many post-Kanreki men, their daily focus turns to rather idyllic past times: golf, gardening, reading, home repair, watching more tv, joining the “Y”, helping watch grandchildren, meeting old friends for coffee at McDonald’s, traveling, and so on.  For most, it allows more time spent with one’s spouse.  For some, it means being able to give back and help frail, elderly parents in need.  For a few, it’s a feeling of loss…having gotten accustomed to being relied upon for job skills that took a lifetime to acquire, and suddenly not seeing one’s co-workers on a daily basis.  For others, the “empty nester” syndrome can really set it, unless there are grandchildren ringing your doorbell 😉

At the time, I thought my Dad and father-in-law were old men (bachi on me), ready to live their “golden” (as in olden) years out in quiet retirement.  Obviously, I was wrong - both men continued to be as active as when they were still working at their jobs.  And I’m sure that both men felt as young as I feel today – perhaps most men in their 80’s still feel as young as I feel today.  Once, my dad told me that inside, he felt the same as he did when he was in his twenties, it’s just that he was looking out at the world through eyes and inside a body that was 80…and it was ironic that everyone looking at him could only see a frail 80 year old man.  I was incredulous at this revelation – dad felt like a young man trapped in an old man’s body!  Dad wasn’t complaining – he was just making an observation – and perhaps encouraging me to continue teaching karate (I was visiting him while getting ready to teach class that day).

All I know is that during the first twenty-five years of life and the last twenty-five years (say, 60-85), the young and the mature share a great similarity…the time passes by so fast and huge, huge changes happen physically and mentally.  During the first twenty-five, a child goes from being born, to crawling, then walking, then running, and becoming a full-grown adult.  They learn to talk, read, write, complete their academics, commence their careers, move out to their own place, get married, and start families.  During that same time, their elders retire, see their grown children go on their own, lose muscle, lose flexibility, lose skin elasticity, lose hair, lose a couple of inches in height, lose some hearing/eyesight/speed/memory, AND….GAIN WISDOM.  Haha, joke – I hope I gain SOMETHING during this time.  Sounds kind of like a lose-lose for the mature and a win-win for the young…but not really.  God, however, designed a special middle-ground and timeframe – the middle 40 years of life!  Haha, thought I forgot about that period from one’s twenties to one’s sixties, eh?  Yes, we spent the first twenty-something years growing up, but we’ve gotten to spend the last 37 years “growing up” with our children.  That time was the busiest and most financially challenging – yet, it was so much fun and we’ll always have the memories of those shared experiences together with our kids.  In a few short years, our elder child will be celebrating his own Yakudoshi, and we’ll compliment him on how “young” he looks.

In God’s design, we get to continue to share life experiences with our loved ones.  We get to actually share our “Fall” years with the “Spring” years of our grandchildren; who, in turn, are sharing that same time with our children’s “Summer” years – simultaneously.  I do believe that’s why grandparents and grandchildren often share such a special relationship (we get to spoil and not discipline – Honest! It’s written in the grandparent’s handbook).  Entering this period of time is definitely not a downer.  God gave us the ability to take advantage of this time; to invest in our spirit, our health, our relationships, our finances, etc.  Along with other things, karate practice has certainly been, and continues to be, a major part of that investment for me.  With the proper outlook and activities, we can continue our “Summer” years indefinitely with our friends and family and give the phrase, “The Endless Summer” a new and real meaning (the younger folks don’t even know that’s the title of a classic 1960’s surfing document, haha).  Have a great summer!